


His Final Words

by Merlinsbiggestfanever



Category: Merlin (TV)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-12-05
Updated: 2013-12-05
Packaged: 2018-01-03 12:36:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,537
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1070540
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Merlinsbiggestfanever/pseuds/Merlinsbiggestfanever
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What really went on when Morgana lost her father. Her nightmares are becoming more and more frequent and whatever she dreams comes to pass. Gaius has to hide the truth from her for her own sake, whilst she has to learn to cope with both parents gone from her life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own Merlin, but I love it with all my heart.

Set when Morgana was nine years old.  
It was the night of the celebration feast. Morgana was holding onto her father’s hand tightly as they entered the hall. Morgana was wearing a dark purple dress that had a wide, burgundy ribbon around her waist that tied up at the back. Her long, dark, wavy hair was sitting over one shoulder. She was also wearing a beautiful gold necklace that had an oval shaped ruby at the front. It was a gift from her mother when Morgana was very young. She hadn’t seen her mother since she was five years old and she doesn’t know what happened to her.  
Morgana was still holding her father’s hand as they walked over to Uther. Uther was Gorlois’s best friend. They had known each other for quite some time. Uther placed his hand on Gorlois’s shoulder and gave him a friendly shake.  
“Gorlois!” He smiled.  
Morgana slowly let go of her father’s hand as him and Uther started to have a conversation. The only other child at the feast was Arthur. Morgana started to look around to find him. She knew he was at the feast, but she couldn’t see him anywhere. She began to walk away from her father to try and find Arthur.  
“Morgana?” Gorlois called.  
Morgana turned her head to face her father. She was looking a little bit lonely.  
“What are you doing, sweetie?” He asked her.  
“I’m just looking for someone to talk to.” She replied.  
Gorlois walked over to her and crouched down to her level.  
“We don’t have to stay for long if you don’t want to.” He told her.  
“No, no. It’s fine. I’m happy to stay.” She smiled.  
“Okay then. Just tell me if you want to leave.” He insisted.  
“Of course.” She replied.  
Finally, Morgana spotted Arthur and approached him. He was standing close to the back of the room. Arthur smiled when he saw Morgana.  
Arthur was a very spoilt child. He could be very arrogant at times too. Morgana and Arthur were really good friends. They’d often trade insults as a joke, but always could trust each other.  
“You look very pretty.” He complimented her.  
“Thank you.” She smiled. “You don’t look very entertained at the moment; maybe they need to get a jester just for you.”  
“Feasts are never that interesting. Most of them, if not all, were always for adults only.” He stated.  
“Why are we here anyway?” Morgana asked.  
“How about you go ask my father? I don’t even know what this celebration is about.” Arthur laughed.  
Morgana giggled.  
“I wish I was out learning sword skills or something.” He said.  
“Yeah, I get it. You just love the attention.” Morgana laughed.  
“No!” Arthur shouted.  
“Don’t deny it.”  
“You’re clearly jealous.” Arthur snapped.  
“There is nothing to be jealous of.” Morgana laughed.  
Morgana walked back over to her father just before everyone took a seat in a large dining room and enjoyed the feast. A couple of hours past and both Arthur and Morgana were very tired. Arthur almost fell asleep onto his plate. Morgana wanted to tell her father that she wanted to leave, but she didn’t want to ruin this for him. She loved her father more than anything.  
People started to say goodbye to each other as more and more people started leaving the hall. Gorlois went over to Uther to have a quick conversation with him before it was time to take Morgana back to their chambers. Gorlois came back to Morgana, who was struggling to stay awake.  
“Are you ready to go?” He asked her.  
Morgana rubbed her eyes and nodded her head.  
Gorlois held his daughters hand as they walked through the castle to their chambers. They lived in the castle because Gorlois was such a good friend of Uther’s, and he was also a knight. Morgana and Gorlois both lived in separate chambers, but it had a door in between them which connected the two.  
Morgana changed into her nightgown and walked over to her bed. Gorlois tucked her in.  
“Can we go to the pond and feed the ducks tomorrow?” She asked.  
“We will see.” He smiled. “Did you enjoy the feast?”  
“Yeah, it was good.” She answered.  
Gorlois smiled.  
“Goodnight, Morgana.” He said just before he kissed her on the forehead. He blew out the candle and went back into his own chamber.  
Just before he was about to go to sleep, he went in and checked on Morgana. She was sound asleep in her white nightgown, and her dark hair was spread across the pillow, just like a princess.  
The next morning.  
The morning light woke Morgana up. She lay down in bed, waiting for her father to come in, like he did every morning.  
Gorlois slowly began to open the door. He did it as silently as he could, just in case she was still sleeping. Morgana looked over at her father.  
“Good morning.” She smiled.  
“Do you still want to go to the pond today?” Her father asked her.  
“Yes please!” She said excitedly.  
Gorlois handed her a green dress and a dark blue cloak.  
“Hurry along then.” Gorlois said. “We want to go why it is still morning.”  
Morgana quickly changed into the dress, and was ready to go to the pond.  
Morgana and Gorlois walked over to the stables, and went over to a brown horse. The horse was already saddled up and ready to go. Gorlois lifted his daughter onto the front of the horse, and then he hopped on the back of the horse.  
They rode the horse to the end of the darkling woods, where there was a small hill. On top of the hill was a Giant tree and long, green grass. Behind the tree and at the bottom of the hill was a pond with ducks. Gorlois got off the horse, and then lifted Morgana off too. He handed her a few pieces of bread from his cloth shoulder bag. She sat down next to the lake and started to throw the bread towards the ducks.  
The area was beautiful. You could only hear the sounds of the grass swaying to the wind, and the ducks swimming in the pond. It was a peaceful place to be. Morgana loved it.  
“Can we come here more often? I really like it.” She smiled.  
“I think that is a wonderful idea.” Gorlois said. “We must get back to Camelot now. I have a something to attend.”  
Morgana seemed a bit disappointed, but she knew that her father had to do something important, so it was better that he was back in time.  
He lifted Morgana onto the horse and hopped on the back himself. They rode back through the darkling woods and back to Camelot.  
Morgana was enjoying this time with her father. She loved anytime she could spend with him.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Morgana's dreams are beginning to scare her. She watches as her father goes into battle but she doesn't want to let him go. She knows that he won't come back alive.

Set when Morgana was ten years old.   
Morgana was waiting in her chambers for her father to return. He had promised to take her out today, but something else came up. She walked over to her window and watched Arthur learning his sword skills. They were very basic skills as he was only young. Morgana was slightly jealous of this though. She wanted to learn to fight too.   
Gorlois opened the door and came into the chambers. Morgana turned her head.   
“I’m guessing that we aren’t going out together today.” Morgana sighed.  
“It is getting a bit late, maybe next week.” Gorlois smiled.  
“So why did the King need you today?” Morgana asked.  
Gorlois seemed a bit reluctant to tell her. He picked her up, sat on the bed, and placed her on his lap.  
“Morgana, Camelot is under attack.” Gorlois told her.  
Morgana knew that this meant that her father was going out to battle, but she didn’t want to believe it.   
“What does that mean to you?” She asked.  
Gorlois took a deep breath.   
“I have to go out to fight.” He sighed.   
“No, please. You can’t go. You could get killed!” She cried.   
“Shh, Morgana. It is going to be alright. I’m not going to be killed.” Gorlois promised her.  
Morgana blinked away the tears that were about to stream down her face.   
*Knock, Knock*  
Gorlois went and opened the door. A young maid with pale skin and golden hair brought in two bowls of soup. One for Morgana and one for her father. She placed them on the table and left the chambers. Morgana looked up at her father.  
“I don’t feel like eating.” She cried.  
“Come on, sweetie. You have to eat.” Gorlois insisted.  
Morgana sat down and ate very little of her meal. She was really worried about her father. She knew he was a great warrior. But she always over hears people talking about knights that haven’t returned to Camelot. Occasionally she’d see bodies being carried into Camelot. Many had fatal wounds, others were dead. She didn’t want this to happen to her father.   
“I think it’s time for you to go to bed.” Gorlois said.  
Morgana nodded her head. She walked over to her bed and waited for her father to tuck her in.   
“When are you going tomorrow?” She asked.   
“In the afternoon. I don’t want you worrying about this.” Gorlois said as he tucked her into bed.  
He blew out the candle, went to his own chambers and went to bed.   
Morgana was tossing and turning throughout the night. She was so afraid of what could happen.   
She saw him get shot. She saw him lying on a bench with an arrow in him. She saw him die.   
Morgana woke up and started screaming. Her father ran into her room. She was so scared and shaken up by her dream. She had tears streaming down her face and her eyes were slightly red. Her father hugged her tightly.   
“Shh. It’s alright. What happened?” Gorlois asked. He knew Morgana had been suffering from the occasional nightmare ever since she was younger. But as she grew up, the nightmares became more and more frequent.   
“You cannot go tomorrow. You’re going to die!” She cried. “Please believe me. I saw it in my dream. It is going to happen!”  
“Morgana, you’re just worrying. I’m not going to die.” Gorlois comforted her. “It was just a dream.”  
Morgana wasn’t convinced by him. She shook her head.   
“No. This was real. I swear!” She cried.   
Gorlois dried her tears with a cloth.   
“I will take you to visit Gaius tomorrow. Just try and get back to sleep.” Gorlois said to her.  
Morgana fell back onto her pillows and tried to fall asleep. Gorlois sat on the end of the bed until she fell asleep. It only took her a few minutes to fall asleep, meaning that her father was able to go to bed to rest for the day ahead of him.  
The next morning.  
Gorlois came in to wake Morgana up. She was still tossing and turning in fear.  
“Morgana.” Gorlois whispered.  
Morgana slowly began to open her eyes.   
“We need to go see Gaius this morning. Sorry to wake you up.” Gorlois apologised.   
“No, it’s fine.” She said.  
Gorlois handed her a green dress that matched her eyes. Morgana changed into it. She ran her fingers through her hair to untangle it just before her and her father went to see Gaius.   
Morgana held her father’s hand as they walked to the other side of the castle to see the court physician.   
“Gorlois.” Gaius greeted.  
“Good Morning.” Gorlois replied.  
“Hello Morgana.” Gaius smiled. “What seems to be the problem?”  
Morgana didn’t answer.  
“Morgana had a nightmare last night; she was extremely panicked and worried.” Gorlois told him.  
“These dreams have been happening for quite some time now, haven’t they?” Gaius asked.  
Morgana nodded her head.   
A guard knocked on the door and came in.  
“Sorry to disturb you. Gorlois, the King requires you right away.” The guard commanded.  
“Stay here Morgana. I’ll be back soon.” Gorlois said to her as he left to see the King.  
“Take a seat, Morgana.” Gaius insisted whilst pulling out a stool for her to sit on.   
Morgana sat down.  
“What was this dream about?” Gaius asked her.  
“My father was out in battle and he was shot by another bandit with an arrow and was killed!” She cried.  
“Was this the first time you had this dream?” He asked.  
“Yes.” She responded. “He will be killed if he goes out to battle. You have to believe me. I’ve dreamt things before that have now come true!” She cried.  
“Morgana, these are just dreams. It is just your imagination, nothing more.” Gaius told her.  
Morgana shook her head. She didn’t believe him. It was more than just her imagination.  
Morgana was obviously distressed. Gauis handed her a small glass bottle with a purple liquid in it.   
“What is it?” Morgana asked.  
“It is a sleeping draught. It will control the nightmares. Take it before you go to bed tonight.” Gaius said.  
“Will my father be okay?” Morgana asked.  
“Your father is a great worrier, Morgana. Of course he’ll be okay.” Gaius responded.   
Morgana wasn’t convinced by his tone. He sounded like there was something he wasn’t telling her.  
“But what about my dream?” Morgana asked. “What if it does come true?”  
“Everything will be alright. You have to trust me.” He attempted to reassure her.  
Morgana laid her head on the table in front of her whilst waiting for her father to return. Gaius went over to a bench and started mixing different liquids and herbs together. He turned and faced Morgana who was almost asleep.   
“Did you have trouble sleeping last night?” He asked her.  
Morgana was still resting her head on the table when she opened her eyes and replied to him.  
“A little bit.” She responded before closing her eyes again.   
Suddenly her eyes snapped open and she sat up. She was afraid of sleeping. She was scared of her dreams.   
“Gaius?” She said.  
“Yes, my child.”  
“What if my dreams are controlling the future?” She asked.  
Gaius froze. Deep down inside he feared that she was a seer, but he couldn’t tell her that. Magic is outlawed; her knowledge of her magic would be very dangerous for her.   
“I mean, what if anything I dream ends up coming true in the near future? Like my mind is controlling life or death.” She asked.  
“Nonsense! That’s impossible.” He told her.   
Gorlois came back to get Morgana. He pulled the door open and came in.   
“She needs to take this before she goes to bed tonight, it will control her nightmares.” Gaius said. He seemed so sure that it would help her. Either that or he just wanted to believe that it would.   
“Thank you for your help, Gauis.” Gorlois smiled.   
Gorlois grabbed his daughters hand and started to walk out. Morgana was holding on to him tightly. She didn’t want to let go. She didn’t want to let him go to battle.  
“Oh and make sure Morgana rests today as well. She seems very tired and just needs to relax.” Gaius called out to them.  
Gorlois looked down to his daughter. She looked up at him and smiled.  
“You need to relax? I guess that means that you can’t help me with my armour.” Gorlois teased.  
“No! I’m still helping you! I’m not tired, I can help!” Morgana said excitedly.  
Morgana ran as fast as she could to get to her and her father’s chambers before he did so that she could get all his armour ready. She loved helping him with his armour. It was the only positive thing about him fighting in battles. She helped him with it a lot when played in tournaments. She was never afraid of her father fighting tournaments, they were just fun, whereas battles were serious and so many people died each battle. Morgana got to the door to her father’s chamber before realising that it was locked, and she couldn’t get in until her father came.   
Her father came to the chambers a couple of minutes later than her and unlocked the door. She quickly found all of his armour and chainmail and helped him put it on. She handed him his sword and then realised that this was it, he was going into battle, and if her dream came to pass, he was going to die. Her eyes started to tear up so she quickly blinked them away. She wanted to be strong, just like her father.   
Morgana hugged her father tightly.   
“Good luck.” She cried.  
“I won’t need it. I’ll be back in a few days. I love you.” Gorlois smiled.  
“I love you too.”   
Gorlois kissed his daughter on the forehead and then left for battle.  
“Please don’t die.” She whispered. She was too quiet for her father to hear her.  
Morgana ran over and looked out of the window. She sat beside it and watched until the knights left for the battle.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The images in Morgana's dream come to pass as she watches her father's life escape from him. Reality kicks in and she realises that she's now lost both parents. She's an oprhan.

It was getting late so Morgana blew out the candle and tucked herself into bed. It was really weird not having her father to hug her goodnight or kiss her on the forehead. She grabbed the bottle that Gauis gave her and drank it. Her face cringed from the awful taste. She waited to fall asleep, but again was struggling to sleep because of her fear of her father dying. After a little while, she fell asleep.   
The same nightmare that scared her the previous night had come again this night. She woke up and screamed. She tried her best not to cry and reminded herself that it was just a dream. Normally her father would be hugging her and telling her that it was alright, but then she remembered that he is not here. She walked over to her window hoping to see that her father was returning, but there were only guards in the courtyard, no one else. She hopped back into bed and tried to sleep.   
The next morning.  
The morning light was shining through one of the windows in Morgana’s chambers. If her father didn’t wake her up, the sun always did. She picked out a dress to wear and went over to see Gauis again.  
“Gauis.” She said whilst walking into the room.   
Gauis turned around and faced her. He could immediately tell that something was still bothering her.  
“The nightmares didn’t stop.” She sighed.   
“Was it the same nightmare or a different one?” He asked.  
“The same.” She cried.  
Gauis wasn’t happy with the response. The evidence of her being a seer was piling up. He didn’t want to admit it though, not even to himself.   
“I’ll have to find you something stronger.” He told her.  
“It won’t work.” She muttered.   
“You don’t know that.” He reassured.  
“But what if it doesn’t work? Are you just going to give me stronger and stronger ones until the strongest one possible doesn’t work? Then what?” Morgana asked.   
“We will figure that out when it gets to that stage.”   
“You mean that you think it will?” She asked. She just wouldn’t stop throwing questions around.   
“I mean, if it gets to that stage.” He corrected her.   
He handed her a stronger sleeping draught. The bottle was slightly bigger than the other one she had and the liquid colour was different.   
Morgana looked up at him.  
“Thank you.” She smiled.  
She really wished that this draught would work, and that Gaius was right. She hoped that her dreams were just her imagination, although she knew that they weren’t.  
Morgana went back to her chambers. She took the long way around the castle, passing the throne room. She overheard a knight talking to the King. She didn’t hear the whole conversation. But she heard the knight say that they are being outnumbered and more and more of Camelot’s knights were being killed. Morgana was so worried after hearing this. What if her father had been killed?   
Morgana went into her chambers and placed the sleeping draught beside her bed. She went out into the courtyard of the castle to get some fresh air. She went over to talk to Arthur. He was practising his sword skills on what looked like a scarecrow. All the knights that helped train him were currently out in the battle.   
“Can I try to fight you?” Morgana asked.  
“I didn’t think that swords and fighting was really your thing, Morgana. Aren’t you worried that your hair will get messed up?” Arthur laughed.  
“Are you worried that I’ll be strong enough to beat you?” Morgana snapped.   
“Beat me? You wish.” He responded.  
“Come on; let me give it a shot.”  
“Morgana, I won’t fight you. I don’t want to hurt you.” Arthur laughed.  
Morgana scrunched her face at Arthur. He poked his tongue at her and went back to whacking the scarecrow with his sword.  
The rest of the day felt pretty slow to Morgana. Her father wasn’t there for her to play games with, have lunch or dinner with, or just to talk to. On the odd occasion, her father would take her out on a picnic. They would eat fruit, run around, and then by the end of it they would be lying on the picnic rug, seeing the shapes the clouds were forming. Morgana really hoped that her dream was just her imagination running wild, and that her father would return alive, because she didn’t want her past memories with him to be the only memories.   
Like the previous night, Morgana blew out the candle and tucked herself in. A serving girl was assigned to help Morgana with anything whilst her father was away, but Morgana didn’t want her help for anything, so she told her that she would find her if she required her assistance. Morgana closed her eyes and tried to sleep, but then she remembered that she hadn’t yet taken the sleeping draught. Expecting the bad taste, Morgana drunk it down as quickly as possible, but still cringed after drinking it.   
She slept a lot better than she did the other night. She didn’t have the nightmare of her father dying, which was incredible. The sleeping draught must have worked. She hoped that they would continue to work, because her nightmares were causing a lot of trouble and worry for her.   
She woke up midday and smiled about the fact that she had actually slept without any nightmares. She got changed into a purple dress with a silver belt at her waist, walked over to the window and looked down at the lower town. She didn’t realise what time it was until she saw how many people were out. There was a lot.   
*Knock, Knock*  
Morgana went and opened the door. It was Gaius.  
“Sorry to disturb you. I just came to check if the sleeping draughts have been effective?” Gaius asked her.  
“Yes. I could actually sleep. There was no trouble or anything.” Morgana smiled.   
“That is great to hear. I will deliver another one later this afternoon.” Gaius told her.  
“Thank you, Gaius.” Morgana said as she shut the door.  
Morgana walked back over to the window and saw someone being carried in to Camelot by two other knights. She wasn’t certain, but she thought it was her father. She sprinted out the door and ran past Gaius, heading to the courtyard.   
“Morgana, what’s wrong?” He asked in confusion.  
“That’s my father!” She cried.   
She continued to run to the courtyard, and Gaius followed to see what was going on.   
The knights managed to bring the barley living body into the castle and placed him on a bench. It was Gorlois. He had an arrow right through him.   
“Father!” Morgana yelled. She grabbed his hand which was hanging over the edge of the bench.   
Gorlois, who was shaking hysterically and almost unable to breathe, coughed out a few words.  
“You are such a brave girl Morgana, never forget that.” He told her.  
“Please don’t die.” Morgana cried. “Gaius, do something!” She said with tears streaming down her face.  
There wasn’t anything Gaius could do.  
Uther ran over to Gorlois and was tearing up too. He was about to lose his best friend.   
“Please take care of Morgana. Don’t let anything bad happen do her.” Gorlois managed to say to Uther.   
“I’ll take care of her like she is my own.” Uther promised.   
“No, please don’t leave me. I told you this would happen!” Morgana sobbed.  
“Never mind now. We can’t change the past.” Gorlois told his daughter.  
This was it, her father was about to die.  
He was lucky that he made it back to Camelot to say goodbye to his daughter before the arrow killed him. He managed to say four more words before his body just shut down.  
“I love you, Morgana.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Morgana is in Uther's care. Gaius knows that she's a seer but won't accept the reality in front of his eyes. Will Morgana be able to cope with everything that's going on in her life?

Morgana watched as the hysterical shaking turned into being as still as a statue and the tears forming in his eyes were no longer there. She closed her eyes and repeating in her mind was the image of her father taking his final breath and his soul being released into the afterlife. She grabbed his hand and squeezed it tight.  
“No, father! Please! You can’t leave me!” She cried.  
“You promised you’d never leave me!” She screamed even louder.   
In that moment she just dropped to the floor. She could no longer be the strong person her father had taught her to be, she could only be the scared little girl whose innocence was taken from her too soon. The tears were uncontrollably streaming down from her eyes and she was sobbing louder than she had sobbed before. Every time she closed her eyes to cringe so the tears would be held back, she only saw images flash before her of her memories with her father.   
Uther was upset as well. His best friend, the man he knew he could always trust had just lost his life right in front of his eyes. Two of the knights that carried Gorlois into Camelot gave the kind a pat on the shoulder, and shook him slightly as a sign to say that they’re here for him. The other two knights went over to pick Morgana off the floor. She crawled backwards and shook her head. She tried to peep words out of her mouth telling them that she was fine and needed to be alone, but as soon as she opened her mouth, more and more cries came out. The knights took the hint and escorted the King back into his castle.   
Morgana backed up against the wall and just starred at her father’s lifeless body. Gaius knew that this wasn’t good for her so he put out his hand in front of her for her to grab onto. She looked up at him but didn’t move her body.   
She finally was able to say something.   
“It happened.” She cried. “My dream came true.”  
Gaius realised that the truth was becoming more and more obvious and he could no longer deny it to himself.   
“These things you said were just my imagination actually were real. I saw what was going to happen. I saw the fut-” She screamed before she was cut off.  
“Shh Morgana, everything is going to be okay.” Gaius tried to comfort her. He had to stop her from yelling out to the whole kingdom that she could see things before they actually happen.  
Morgana shook her head. “No. No, you’re wrong! Are you crazy? My father is dead!”   
She took a deep breath.  
“Am I crazy?” She whispered.   
She finally grabbed Gaius’s hand and he lifted her off the floor and walked her to her chambers. She looked inside and cried.  
“I can’t be in here.”  
“What do you want to do?” Gaius asked her.  
“I-I-I don’t know. What should I do? How am I going to sleep tonight knowing that my dreams came true? Am I the reason he died?” She asked Gaius.  
“Nonsense, Morgana.” Gaius tried to reassure her.  
“Maybe you’re wrong.”   
Morgana went over and sat on the edge of her bed.  
“This wasn’t even similar to my dream, this was exactly what happened! I saw him being carried in by the four knights that carried him in today. I saw the arrow through him. I saw him die, Gaius, same way he did today. Am I supposed to be okay? Maybe I’ve lost all sanity. Maybe I’m just insane. Maybe they should lock me up or have me executed just like they do to any other insane person who has the capability to hurt someone because what’s going to stop me from dreaming of anyone here?” Morgana argued.   
Gaius didn’t know what to say that would convince her otherwise. He couldn’t say to her “Congratulations, you’re a seer.” She must never know of her true power, especially now that she’s under the Kings care. Gaius kept denying to himself the truth right in front of him.   
“My child.” He sat next to her. “You just had a nightmare that your father died in battle. Anyone could’ve died in battle, it’s just unfortunate that it happened to your father. You didn’t cause this Morgana, it was just completely confidential. Gorlois wasn’t the only knight lost in this battle, and he won’t be the last.”  
Morgana couldn’t listen any longer. Every mention of her father just made her heart shatter into a million pieces.   
“I need to be alone right now.” She told Gaius.  
“Come see me if you need anything. And remember to take the sleeping draught before you sleep tonight.”  
Gaius left Morgana and Morgana just pushed her face into her pillow and cried. Arthur knocked on the door and came in. Morgana rotated her head to see who it was.   
“Arthur” She cried.  
He came in silently and gave her a huge cuddle. She squeezed him as tight as she would when her father would hug her.   
She sniffed as she wiped away her tears with the palm of her hand.   
“How are you feeling?” Arthur asked her.  
“Do you want the honest answer? Or do you want me to say what everyone else wants to hear, that I’m fine.”  
“I want to hear how you’re feeling. I don’t want to hear the pretend to be strong answer, I want to hear what’s coming from inside there.” He said as he pointed to her chest.  
“If you’re meaning the heart, it’s on the other side.” Morgana giggled.   
“And look, there’s another thing you’re always better at than me, knowledge.”  
“Is that the first time you’ve ever admitted something?” She asked.  
“And the last.” Arthur told her.  
She giggled and took a deep breath.  
“Arthur?” She sobbed.  
“Yes?”  
“I don’t know what to do anymore.”  
“Morgana everything will be o-” Arthur tried to say before he was cut off.  
“Why does everyone keep trying to say that? Things were only ever okay when my father was there to fix everything. And now he’s not. How can it be okay? He died in battle and now I must fight without him.” She cried.  
“My father used to always tell me that battles were only ever for the strongest fighters. You weren’t ever put into a battle unless you were strong enough to fight it.” Arthur told her.  
Morgana let out a slight smile.  
“Thank you, Arthur.” She said.  
Arthur smiled back at her as he left her to have some time to herself.   
A few hours later, the king came in to see how Morgana was doing. She hadn’t left her room all day so the maids and servants were constantly checking up on her. Uther didn’t expect what he found when he opened the door.  
“What do you want, my lord.” She sighed.  
Normally with words like this, Uther would be furious, however he chose to let it go because he knew that she was devastated.   
“I’ve come to see how you’re doing.”  
“Why’d you do it?” She asked.  
“I beg your pardon?” Uther said.  
“He wouldn’t have died if you sent him in to battle. He didn’t have to go into battle if you gave him the reinforcements you promised.” Her voice started to rise. “He wouldn’t have died if it wasn’t for you!”  
“Morgana, I didn’t want this to happen. Your father was a skilful knight, I didn’t think that him, out of everyone, would lose his life in battle. I’m so sorry.” Uther apologised.  
All Morgana wanted to do was scream at him, it was either her fault for dreaming him dying, or his fault for sending him out in the first place. Morgana broke into tears. Uther came over and hugged her. He wiped away her tears with the sleeves of his shirt, lifted her up, and tucked her into her bed. He ran his fingers through her hair and told her to rest.   
It wasn’t normal for the king to do things like this, but he felt that it was his duty to do everything he could to take care of her, especially while she was in this state. He blew out the candles, and left the room. Morgana let out a sigh. Replaying in her mind over and over was the image of her father dying, the words of everyone telling her that it will be okay, and Gaius telling her to take her sleeping draught.   
Morgana grabbed the sleeping draught that was on her bedside table and twisted it around in her fingers. She gripped it tightly and then in her anger and fear, she threw it against the wall and watched the glass pieces fall onto the floor and the silver liquid shimmer as it spread across the floor.   
“Remember to take the sleeping draught.” She mimicked.   
“This won’t even help me with my dreams.” She told herself. “He just thinks I’m insane. He’s just trying to give me a medication so strong that I’ll fall into such a deep sleep that I won’t even have to dream.” She cried to herself.   
She was crying even more now. It was her first night without her father and she wasn’t okay. Why would she be? She was tossing and turning so much that her bed sheets became untucked.   
Gaius slowly opened the door to come check up on her. First thing he noticed was the silver liquid on the floor. He sighed. He looked at Morgana who was lying head up to the ceiling, not even trying to sleep anymore. He noticed that she was blinking away tears.   
“Morgana, sit up.”  
She slowly pushed herself up and leaned against the bedhead.  
“You know, you wouldn’t have as much trouble sleeping if that sleeping draught was inside you rather than all over the floor.” He told her calmly.  
“Do you want to just try knocking me out then? It’s guaranteed to put me to sleep for a while. Isn’t it just the same as giving me the draughts? Isn’t it just an attempt to get me to fall into a deep sleep, no problems?” She asked.  
Gaius didn’t realise how sleep deprived the nightmares were making her.   
“How about you come into my chambers and we will get you something else?”  
Morgana nodded her head slowly.  
The two of them walked towards the Court Physician’s quarters.   
“Take a seat” Gaius said, pointing to the wooden bench.  
Morgana lifted herself onto the seat. Gaius sat opposite her.  
“How are you feeling at the moment? Do you feel tired? Sick?” He asked her.  
Morgana took a while to respond. She was analysing every detail in the room.  
“Morgana?”  
Finally she snapped back into reality.  
“I feel…sick.” She sighed.  
“Go on.” He told her.  
“I’m exhausted. I feel like I haven’t slept for a month. My head hurts. I feel sick everywhere. My stomach is killing me, I feel nauseas, I feel dizzy and I feel like someone is choking me.” She cried.  
Gaius wasn’t surprised. Half of it was caused by her lack of sleep; the other half was caused by the tragic event of today.   
“I think you really need to sleep. Are you worried before going to bed?” He asked.  
“For the whole week I have been worried about my father going into battle because I thought he would die. Now I’m worried because my dream came true, and that he is dead. The rest of my life is going to be lived without him. He was my best friend.” She cried.  
“Morgana, as much as you deny it, your dream didn’t cause his death. It was just a coincidence, nothing you could’ve done to stop it.”  
“STOP! You need to stop telling me this. I know you’re lying to me. I don’t know if I caused it or I saw what was going to happen but it did happen. My exact dream was the exact reality. I can see where you’re coming from, but I know what I saw.” She began to panic.  
“Morgana, listen to me.” Gaius said firmly.  
“No, listen to me! You’re treating me like I’m insane. I know what happened. “   
Morgana stood up to leave but Gaius pulled her back down.   
“Morgana, you’re distressed at the moment. You’ve been through a really tough day.” Gaius told her.  
“You don’t understand.” She cried.  
Gaius grabbed a bottle with a thick, lavender coloured liquid in it.   
“I need you to take this; it will help you sleep tonight.”  
“What? Is it strong enough to have me suddenly wake up and it’s the next morning? Will everything just be a blur? Will I blackout. Is it strong enough that I’ll be unconscious? I’m sure you’re as frustrated with this as I am so maybe you can just give me something that will put me in a permanent sleep and then I’ll never have to worry about bad dreams again!” She cried.   
Gaius shook his head. “Morgana.”   
“I’m so sorry.” She peeped.   
It came clear to Morgana that she wasn’t okay and that she was alone and scared. Gaius was going to be there for her as best she could. Morgana grabbed the bottle off Gaius.  
“Can I take it when I get to my room?” She asked.   
“I need you to take it now so I know that you haven’t smashed it against the wall like the last one. We’ll have to get someone to clean it up in the morning. “  
Morgana sighed. She took a deep breath and drunk down the draught. The taste was so awful that she started to cough. Everything started to look slightly blurry, maybe Gaius had actually tried to knock her unconscious like she said. She blinked a couple of times and then her vision was restored.  
“Do you need me to come back with you?” Gaius offered.  
Morgana shrugged her shoulders. “If you want to.”  
Gaius walked with Morgana back to her chambers and tucked her back into bed. It took a few minutes but finally the sleeping draught had kicked in and Morgana was finally asleep.   
“Goodnight Morgana” Gaius said as he shut the door and left to retire to his own chamber. It had been a long night.


End file.
